Shitty attitudes to women
I’ve been talking with people more about the Matt Johns thing and I think I need to revisit my earlier comments of feeling sorry for him. Ultimately it comes down to society judging “was it rape or not” and we have no information to do that. It appears, however, that the woman in question reported rape to the police within a week after the event and was hushed up…there are some other curious things that suggest that all is not ok in the land of Johns and friends. And given the culture, this probably is of no surprise.
I STILL feel really bad for his wife and kids. I think that’s horrible. I also think Australia really needs to slap the sports culture hard – and not only that – but the general way men view and treat women in this country. SORRY but it’s true. Australia really is a dire hole for women. Tosspots are still driving around with crude and lewd bumper stickers on their utes that do nothing but treat women like cattle (maybe worse) and this is just one tiny highlighter to the culture that is in this country. As a young woman it’s a relief to walk around with a baby because the general idiots don’t offer me crass comments anymore 
. But I still get it on a different scale in other ways…like when I was ministering in a congregation and a dipshit suggested I wear a bikini leading worship because it would attract more church goers. How is that okay to say?
So the woman maybe took 2 guys into her room. And maybe 6 or 8 more showed up because “what goes on tour stays on tour”. She’s attempted suicide a number of times since then and those guys can’t even come out in the media and say who they were…the silence makes them more guilty now I think.
I heard recently about a woman’s 15 y/o son telling her of parties where the girls are drunk and some of the boys try to drag them off while they are “out of it”. Other boys step in mostly he says. And all matter of factly, because he’s seen it a number of times. How is THIS ok?
I don’t know. I’m ranting really – I grew up in a family where men respect women so this stuff all still shocks me. I just wish I knew how this country might grow a culture of mutual respect – because I don’t know that I want any daughters of mine growing up in any cities here.
Just in relation to your Matthew Johns comment. Claire was 19 years old when this incident occurred. And by all means, what you choose to do in the privacy of your bedroom is up to you. You should not be judged for this. Say for instance she decided that she wouldn’t mind having sex with Matty Johns and other un-named boofhead. So she goes up stairs with them. Then other players decide to come through and join in? Imagine if you are 19, female and in a room full of rugby players – you may feel pressured into doing things you wouldn’t have wanted to do to begin with. So whilst I don’t think Matty Johns should take the brunt of this I do believe that he could have said something. She could have too but I can only imagine how difficult it would have been for her to say anything.
I’ve been in a situations where I have started something and then decided it wasn’t something I wanted to do. But felt that I had too after going so far. In hindsight you can say ‘well that was stupid, i could have just said something’ but you are looking at it being removed from that situation.
AFL players did a quiz where they were asked about how they should treat women. Some of their answers were astounding. It’s not just a rugby environment (although this makes for much better news) rather its a male climate (not all males obviously but the average wolf calling, beer drinking, sleazebag population) .
I’m less forgiving of this kind of thing. Matty Johns was married, and he chose to sleep with a woman who isn’t his wife. That makes him a dipshit who deserves all the crap that comes to him. I hate nothing on this earth more than infidelity.
I don’t know that it’s a question of whether I’m forgiving of infidelity or not. A good question might be however, how can society get all riled up about it so many years later when, in the privacy of their marriage, his wife dealt with it and forgave him? The media just likes a good beat – up. And it really has little to do with the media.
What DOES have something to do with the wider society is the general culture of attitudes towards women that need to be addressed. But as for what goes on in other people’s marriages…that’s up to them to sort out between them.